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As Good A Time As Any

from Past The Walls Of Memory by Ueda Kurou

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lyrics

Sitting on a metal bench
Gate D 24
Bag in my arms feels enough like home
Still raw from the sleep
I hear voices calling me on the intercom.
And then the dam breaks
Phone is going off as I’m stepping on the plane
People asking where I am
Mom’s saying it’ll be ok
Just so long as I survive she says I’m not to blame

I didn’t want the plans to change
But I’m not going through this whole routine again
So I’m breaking away

My eyes are pale glass
The horizon is a lie
Breaking from the tarmac, swallowed by the sky
It’s not real. I’m just words on a screen, a foreign newspaper
Everyone I know wants to make the most of me
But they keep letting my hopes turn to flesh in their teeth
But I was just trying to steady myself
A gentle pull was all I needed

Well I’ve been burning out for such a long time
Taking all the medications I was prescribed
Without question or complaint as the embers died

The tangled web of choices that led me to this place
Is long gone in half remembered haze
My desperate aspirations numbed and fell away
The torture and the longing sharing the same fate
I’ve always felt so thoroughly displaced
Coming home at night was like pulling over on the highway
And I’m not cheating anyone if I throw it away
I wasn’t guarding anything that you can’t easily replace


And now the high priest says I need to die
So the crops will grow and the sun will rise
But I’ve done it so many times
And I’m getting tired

Eternally repeating the same day
I’m a knife on a grindstone fading away
Worn down but no sharper in a rusty grave

To hell with my return ticket
I don’t need anything I can’t maintain

credits

from Past The Walls Of Memory, released July 9, 2017

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